Posted on April 17, 2019

The Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce is a messy, stressful, and emotional time for many adults as they struggle to end the chapter of their lives that many thoughts would never come. It can bring about many emotions and really cause tension for now separating couples, but it can be even harder for children, especially the young.

If the children aren’t old enough to understand divorce, sympathize with a parent, or don’t know anything else other than “Mom and Dad aren’t together anymore,” it can be an extremely stressful time for them as they try to deal with emotions and situations that they just aren’t equipped to handle. If a divorce is going to happen, then it’s going to happen, but regardless of the parent’s feelings for one another, they need to stay strong for their children.

It’s very easy for younger children to assume that the divorce is their fault or it happened because they were bad or weren’t good enough. They might even assume that since their parents don’t love each other, that they don’t love them. This is NOT true, and every parent should take great pains to let the child know that this is NOT their fault and they are loved.

Both parents need to stay strong for their child and spend time together. Don’t vilify the other parent or try to bribe your child into loving you more. That is not healthy and will result in a fractured relationship all around. If the child is old enough to empathize with one parent, then that is their choice and you need to respect that.

Still, treat your child as a neutral entity. You shouldn’t ever try to badmouth the other parent and expect them to take sides. While you might have a problem with your spouse, your child still sees them as a mother or father.

Children in Court Cases

Children should never be used as pawns when you and your spouse are at odds. They need to be exempt from the family lawyer in Minneapolis process because adding on all that stress to them just makes it worse. You and your spouse will come to terms and figure out how your child will be able to see and interact with both parents, and that agreement should be done with cool heads.

Teach them about the benefits of having two families (double the holidays, double the vacations, double the birthday money) and try to remain as involved in your ex’s life as possible if you can. By keeping a friendly relationship, you’ll make it feel like your child can still go to either of you for advice and support.

Divorce is an unsteady time for families, but if there’s one thing you and your spouse can agree on, it has to be the love you both carry for your child. Use that to make the transition from one family into two as easy as possible for them, and never ever stop showing them that they are valued.